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Chapter 5, Dr. Clay (Cult of Eros #1, Ongoing Update)

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Here’s chapter 5 of the new book, Dr. Clay, I’ve been writing since NaNoWriMo 2022. Enjoy reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

Nobody knew it would happen. That’s what Clay thought after he got out of the shower. While he stood there still wet and naked, revealing his chiseled tone and tattoos of dragons and whatnot covering his chest down his arms, he grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist as he took another one for his head.

As he strolled towards his living area, he bent forward and reached for the remote, pointing it to the television to turn it on. Then, as the news anchor continued announcing the headlines in the background, Clay noticed his phone vibrating on the counter. So, he walked towards it and picked up the device, and as soon as he saw Alain’s name on the screen, he shut his eyes and began to inhale and exhale deep breaths, easing his anxiety as if he was preparing for a press event.

Before he could swipe his finger to answer his call, Alain ended it and sent a message instead. Hey, here outside your apartment. Can I come in? – Alain.

Still feeling disturbed and queasy, Clay sighed, headed towards his entry door, and pressed the button to unlock the entry. When he saw Alain walking in, he turned and continued wiping his long wet hair as he headed toward the living area and sat on the couch. “Why are you here this early?”

“I heard you’re the guest speaker of this year’s graduation day.”

“I don’t think it’s something of a big deal.”

“It is. In fact, it’s the talk of the town right now.”

Clay’s eyebrows knitted as he looked at his brother, heading in his direction, and sat on the couch, facing him. “What are you talking about?”

“Everyone in the mansion has been talking about you getting there as a guest speaker.”

That made Clay scoff. “What the hell—”

“Anyway, that’s enough about them. I’m not here to talk about it but to ask how prepared you are for today’s event,” he paused to chuckle and leaned forward in Clay’s direction, pressing his hand on the damped skin. “I know you wouldn’t want me to talk much about them in your space,” he said before he stood, facing the counter to head over to the kitchen.

“Then, why are you here?” Clay gulped after he uttered those words before he looked at Alain, standing awkwardly before him.

“Can I have a cup of coffee first?”

Clay scoffed and rolled his eyes, throwing his wet towel against the couch as he stood, facing the curtains. Then, he reached for the remote and pressed a button, which provoked a soft buzzing sound from the windows.

At that second when he did, Alain was in the middle of preparing the heated water for the cups when he paused to appreciate how grand and beautiful the view that revealed before his eyes as the curtains moved sideward, revealing the real-life urban art that matched the sun rising, beaming its rays against the blue heavens and the backs of the tall buildings, that blocked them, covering the streets with their cool shadows. “You really have an eye for things, Clay.”

“What do you mean when you say that?”

“It is what it is, Doc,” he said in a tease, which made Clay shake his head as he headed to his walk-in closet. “By the way, you asked me why I was here earlier, right?”

“Yeah,” Clay said with disinterest.

“Well, I came here to clean. Don’t you remember today’s general cleaning we agreed upon last week?”

Clay looked at him, shaking his head.

Alain sighed and shook his head in disbelief, moving his attention to the cups of coffee he had made.

Just before Clay walked into his walk-in closet, he turned his head and saw Alain’s smile as he continued scrambling in his kitchen, looking for things, and watching his brother’s happy face, seemingly in true peace with himself, made him feel delighted and at peace as well. Hearing Alain saying things like that has triggered disturbing feelings about himself as if his words kept tugging at his heart since he was a young boy. Despite feeling this way about him all the time, he couldn’t blame himself for why he would think badly of him.

Though he was his elder brother, it has always made him wonder how Alain never shared the same feelings as the eldest brother and sister, Rafael and Anais, have shown towards him, respectively. Among his three elder siblings, Alain, though he had a different mother and was the second son, just two years after Rafael was born, and Anais arrived in their home two years earlier. Then, almost a decade after she was born, the old bastard abandoned and annulled himself from his mother for Clay’s mom.

Despite all this, Alain remained unfazed and committed to being a brother. Unlike his two other legitimate siblings, he was the only person welcoming toward Clay and was present in many of his memorable moments, good and bad, when he was young.

Fast forward to the present day, his caring and loving nature have impressed Clay’s mom, which made her feel less guilty for her present relationship with his dad and for bearing Clay. Even when he was in his darkest moment a few years ago, Alain was the only person who stood by him and never left him alone. Compared to Rafael, Alain had shown how great of a brother he was.

As human as he was, he couldn’t find faults in Alain, which could have been better to provide a better alibi for despising his father. On top of that, he couldn’t find exact ways to thank him and give back for being there through thick and thin, although he felt ashamed for being alive. That thought began when he barely understood the world and has continued to bear a lot of weight on his shoulders as an adult.

In his mind, there was no doubt that the three of his elder siblings had despised him, given the attention the old man had given him, though he couldn’t ignore Alain’s brotherly affection. However, no matter how much he tries to ask the tough questions, Clay has long given up the attempts.

Even today, he couldn’t find enough courage to muster speaking up and demand Alain confront him. He thought it would be better when he could hear him screaming at his face, telling him how disgusting of a being he was and wishing him he should not have been alive in the first place. Rather than keeping up with his mothering, Clay would have accepted it more if he could hear his brother, despising him so much to the bone.

As much as he wanted to show the same affection Alain had been giving him, he felt otherwise that he wanted to explode and release the emotional baggage he had been building up within himself for a long time instead. Even though he knew there was no need to. Why do you keep doing this, Alain, and for how long?


After he finished fixing himself in front of the mirror, feeling prepared for the event, Alain handed him the folder where Clay inserted a printed copy of his speech. “Here,” he paused and patted Clay’s shoulder, “Don’t forget to smile when you’re up on stage. You don’t want the students to see your frowning face. Okay?” he said in a motherly tone with a broad smile, reaching his ears, which prompted Clay to do the same.

“I’ve got to go. Thanks for coming,” Clay said as he passed behind him.

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave shortly after cleaning up here. There’s a lot to do here because you don’t seem to like doing it.”

“I know. Thank you for everything,” Clay said and saw Alain nodding as he walked out, leaving his brother alone in the room, waving his hand until the door slammed shut.

After he parked the car at the university parking lot, he raised his face and saw the clear skies and only revealing the sun’s reverent beams shining against his face. Then, with his face down, he entered the university grounds and paused when he noticed a group of students running and screaming frantically as if an unprecedented commotion was happening.

Curious, he walked long strides toward where everyone was headed, screaming for help. And when he arrived, he pressed his hands on both ears from the deafening screams of death, which echoed throughout the cramped space while squinting. When he opened his eyes again, he climbed through the nearby fire exit staircase to reach the second floor of the building where he stood. There, he saw a baffling scene, feeling his entire body covered in a cold sweat. As he dragged himself closer to the windows, his eyes turned bloodshot, his hands covering his face in shock at what he saw.

Author’s Note:

Thank you so much for spending time reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did when I wrote this part three months ago. This chapter, in particular, reminded me of those times when I sat before my desk, seemingly prepared to type in words, but I struggled to keep it up.

It took an external motivation to get it through, and, at that time, the NaNoWriMo event was upcoming. At that time, I thought, “This could be a great opportunity to try and give this a shot one more time. You’d done an excellent job with ‘The Rival,’ so you could do it, Mecyll.”

You know, it’s easier said than done because writing a chapter with a clear intent to finish it requires more than just a skill. Since I started writing fiction, I realized how much this work demands my ability to be naked and the guarantees to answer whether I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to face my fears, conscious or unconscious.

So, being able to write this down meant I managed despite the countless times dancing around with depression and enjoying the roller coaster rides my anxiety provided me.

This is why I don’t know how I could thank you for your support, regardless of the scale or contribution size, from sharing my work with others or buying my books. It doesn’t matter because, for me, every small act you show is appreciated.

Again, thank you, and have a great day!

If you like to support my writing life, here’s what you can do:

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