Chapter 51, Dr. Clay (Cult of Eros #1, Ongoing Update)

Dr. Clay Novel by M. Gaspary Featured Image - Free Chapters
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Here’s chapter 51 of the new book, Dr. Clay, I’ve been writing since NaNoWriMo 2022. Enjoy reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

The next morning, Valon opened his eyes and jerked his torso up the bed to check on Clay. He swiveled his head to the left side and saw his back facing him. He hovered above him with his arm, ready to hug him. But when he pressed himself forward, his arm snaked around his body, feeling his heat with his palms.

Clay moaned and pulled the blanket, almost covering his face.

Cute. That’s what he thought, smiling.

Could he pull off some romance? He thought. Abruptly, he felt like a fool. He had no idea what to do in a relationship because he had never been with someone. Even though he had ex-girlfriends before, these were more like flings, and he never took them seriously. He couldn’t even remember all of their names.

But it felt different with Clay. He had him now. What should he do?

While he watched the doctor with a kind smile, his mind reeled over the truths he ignored. Then, the voices of Agatha and Albert started screaming in his head. His round eyes narrowed and turned red, almost teary. He pushed himself back and closed his eyes as his head pressed against the pillow. His chest expanded as he inhaled and exhaled a deep sigh of guilt before he opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling. He feared Clay would figure out something about him. A secret he had kept hidden from the beginning.

Troubled, he rose from the bed and walked toward his closet. He took out his robe and boxer shorts and wore them before leaving the room. When he noticed the bright windows, he went to the kitchen and scrambled his cabinets. He placed the pans and other needed utensils on the counter. He moved to his fridge and took a tray of eggs, a pack of bacon, and a pack of uncooked rice.

Feeling satisfied, he started cooking. His eyes were laser-focused until he was finished. After placing the plates and utensils on the small IKEA dining table, his smile was wide, reaching his ears. His face turned scarlet when he felt his heart throbbing so loud that he could hear his chest beat. He imagined Clay sitting and enjoying the food he prepared while wishing he would love his breakfast.

God. He was in turmoil, knowing this fear had become a reality. After everything he did to avoid this, he knew it was game over. Valon was in love.

Then, he heard footsteps. Clay woke up.

Though he greeted him with a smile, his eyes caught the rawest of this man. Clay, still naked, walked around while scratching his head. He didn’t have his eyeglasses on. Not yet.

He watched him grabbing a seat and looked at him with droopy eyes.

“Hey, good morning,” Clay murmured under his breath.

“Good morning,” Valon stuttered. His eyes were still wide as shock blanketed his gut. “You look beautiful.”

Clay smiled. “I know.” He leaned forward with his elbows on the table. That smell. That gorgeous, thick smell of oil and spices from the steaming food—heavy in the morning air. The glorious scent of eggs, bacon, fresh-cooked rice, and coffee swirled around them. His stomach roared with approval.

Then, when he saw Valon sit and grab his plate to put his portion, he froze in his seat. “Don’t tell me you woke up early to cook us breakfast?”

Valon nodded and hummed as he continued placing a portion on his plate. But when he glanced, he noticed the doctor staring at him. He paused. “Is something wrong?” His brows shot up as he leaned close.

Clay shook his head, with his smile reaching his ears as he moved his attention to the food. “I can’t believe we’re together now. And I hope this won’t end.”

After hearing his words, Valon couldn’t help but flick his head down, feeling queasy in his seat. He noticed the ring was gone when he glanced at the doctor’s hand. “What are you planning to do now?”

Clay shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“You can’t run away all the time, Clay.”

“I know. But still, I need time and space to think about things.”

“I understand. That’s why you decided to leave your apartment and crashed here?”

Clay smiled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Besides, I like being with you.”

Shit. That stung Valon’s heart.

“Why do you hate your father so much?” Valon asked Clay while looking into his eyes.

Clay expelled his breath like he had been punched. “I never felt wanted. He was never a father to me. That’s what I told you before. I’m jealous of your relationship with Albert.”

Valon smiled, though it was shaky. “It isn’t as perfect as you imagined it.”

Clay looked at him and saw the distress on his face. “Why? Did something happen after we left?”

He nodded. “We had a bad argument before.”

“Is it because of me?”

Valon looked at him and then at his plate. “No. Not because of you but me. Though he supported your family’s foundation, he never liked my relationship with you.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through this, Val.”

He shook his head and took his hand. “I should be the one who should apologize.”

“Why are you saying that when it’s not your fault?” Clay’s voice sharpened. He sighed. “Twelve years ago, my mom brought me outside the bedroom and explained why the police went to my dad, and then, they brought him inside the police car. At that time, I didn’t understand what was going on until I went to his office and found the court documents. I was curious because I thought I was old enough to understand them. So, I took the files and read what they said.”

Though Valon looked deeply disturbed, he remained still while listening to every word coming out of his mouth. “What did it say?” he muttered under his breath. Almost stuttering.

“It was a homicide case brought against him. The document explained how my father killed an innocent young woman after he performed surgery on her abdomen. I also found out that she was happily married to her husband. Though I never met her, I couldn’t imagine her pain, knowing my father took away a mother’s life with two children. Until now, that thought haunted me. For some reason, I feel guilty. I feel responsible for what happened.”

When he heard those words coming out of Clay’s mouth, Valon struggled to keep his emotions inside. His eyes turned bloodshot as tears built around them. His chest was tight like he was on the verge of breaking down. But when Clay looked at him and saw how he reacted to what he said, he drew his eyebrows in as he became curious why. He gulped. “Val? Are you okay?”

Valon looked at him, ignoring his concern. His eyes were red, and his face turned sour. But then, he flashed an awkward smile, gesturing his hand to continue eating. “Anyway, it’s too dark of a topic for a morning meal.”

“Yeah.” Clay took his hand and caressed his fingers with his thumb. “I’m happy being here with you.”

Valon smiled. “Promise me. You’ll never leave me again.”

“I promise,” Clay replied.

“I have something to give to you,” Valon said as he rose and went to the counter. He grabbed a small dark blue velvet box and returned to his seat. He opened it and revealed a pair of couple rings on it made of sterling silver. Both had the same Celtic patterns engraved on the surface. He took one out and took Clay’s hand. “I know this isn’t an expensive ring like you had. But still, I want to give this to you.”

Clay was speechless.

He smiled briefly before he pushed the ring into the doctor’s finger. “It has our names engraved on it. Valon x Clay. Forever. That’s what it says.”

“Do you give this to your muses when you’re done?” Clay stuttered.

“No,” Valon said as if he enjoyed watching the doctor behave—getting pleasure from watching how shocked he was. “You aren’t just a muse to me. Not even friends anymore. We’re more than that now. Because you own my heart.”

Clay didn’t hesitate and hugged him.

Damn. That hug meant the world to Valon. He briefly shut his eyes before he pulled away and looked into his eyes again. Although he had learned to love this beautiful man, his soul relished the security he felt over him with confidence and a sense of control.

Yet, the longer the hug was, the more distressed he became. He opened his eyes while his arms wrapped around Clay. He kept asking himself the same questions he feared the most: until when would this happiness last?


Author’s Note:

Thank you so much for spending time reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did when I wrote this part three months ago. This chapter, in particular, reminded me of those times when I sat before my desk, seemingly prepared to type in words, but I struggled to keep it up.

It took an external motivation to get it through, and, at that time, the NaNoWriMo event was upcoming. At that time, I thought, “This could be a great opportunity to try and give this a shot one more time. You’d done an excellent job with ‘The Rival,’ so you could do it, Mecyll.”

You know, it’s easier said than done because writing a chapter with a clear intent to finish it requires more than just a skill. Since I started writing fiction, I realized how much this work demands my ability to be naked and the guarantees to answer whether I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to face my fears, conscious or unconscious.

So, being able to write this down meant I managed despite the countless times dancing around with depression and enjoying the roller coaster rides my anxiety provided me.

This is why I don’t know how to thank you for your support, regardless of the scale or contribution size, from sharing my work with others or buying my books. It doesn’t matter because, for me, every small act you show is appreciated.

Again, thank you, and have a great day!

If you like to support my writing life, here’s what you can do:

  1. Get a copy of “The Rival” Uncensored Gay Romance Novel.
  2. Check out my upcoming book, “Non-Native Speakers Only.”
  3. Find more writing tips on my website (i.e., content writing, freelance writing, copywriting, self-publishing, novel writing, and many more!)

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