Chapter 30, Dr. Clay (Cult of Eros #1, Ongoing Update)

Dr. Clay Novel by M. Gaspary Featured Image - Free Chapters
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Here’s chapter 30 of the new book, Dr. Clay, I’ve been writing since NaNoWriMo 2022. Enjoy reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

“Did you do something stupid, Agatha?” Valon interrupted as soon as he watched Clay closer to Elizabeth, sleeping on the couch. When he noticed Agatha seemingly agitated, he wondered what Clay saw, reeling an outline of questions in his mind.

“Nothing. I did nothing. So, I don’t understand why you’re acting like that now,” she replied while feeling increasingly disturbed as she watched him shoving his arms underneath and wrapping around Elizabeth to lift her.

Clay grunted as he lifted Elizabeth and turned, facing Agatha with suspicion. “I saw what you did,” he said in his low baritone. Although he felt threatened, he couldn’t dare confront her about it, especially with Valon nearby.

Surprisingly, Agatha looked unaffected despite feeling her chest pounding, thundering inside her. “What did I do?” she replied sarcastically, arching an eyebrow and anticipating Clay to say more.

When he turned his back, facing the staircase, she kept observing him, answering the demand with the weight of her stares. Unable to express more, Clay scoffed and decided to leave.

But before he could go, Albert arrived and caught the commotion as he went downstairs to check on them. It was the first moment he saw the four of them with Elizabeth in Clay’s arms, which made him realize and understand the story behind Agatha’s revelation earlier better. “Is something happening around here that I don’t know of?”

“Nothing, dad,” Agatha answered, gulping when she noticed Valon’s eyes staring at her. She looked away from him and at her father, walking towards them instead. But even when Albert reached closer to them, she couldn’t stop glancing at Elizabeth while trying to ignore Clay’s concerned look in his eyes.

“Is it true? How about the two of you? Where have you gone all morning?”

“We were working something together,” Valon said, almost stuttering, though his eyes glued on his father to convince him nothing was concerning.

“Where did you go?” Albert asked.

“In my atelier,” Valon replied, which caught Agatha’s attention.

Albert sighed as he shook his head in disbelief. “I’ll talk to you, guys, later. Anyway, I have to go somewhere.”

“Where to?” Valon asked, looking puzzled.

“I’ll be heading to the Elizondos,” Albert said, which surprised him and Clay.

“Why would you go there, dad?” Valon asked, looking more worried than he was.

Albert glanced at Agatha before he let out a soft sigh and looked into his son’s eyes. “I called their office, and they offered to meet with them today to discuss something important.”

“Like what, Albert?” Clay interrupted.

“Don’t worry. It’s for your family’s foundation,” Albert replied without waiting for him to say another word before he began walking to leave. But as he approached the entry, he turned his back and saw Clay with Elizabeth in his arm, climbing up the stairs and heading to their room. Then, when his eyes landed on his two adult children, he smiled before waving his hand goodbye and left.


“I like you, Clay,” Valon paused as he blinked briefly, looking down in defeat. “It’s going crazy that it hurts when I see you happy with Liz. And when you kissed me, I am unsure how long I could hold onto believing this is just a stupid, one-sided infatuation.” Without saying a word, Clay grabbed his hand, squeezing it as he gently pulled him closer to him. When he began caressing his face, he cast a gaze while tracing his face with his fingers. “Honestly, I don’t want you to play games with me.”

“But I’m not playing games with you, Val. Why would you think I’ll do that?”

Valon looked at him, revealing his bloodshot and teary eyes, with his eyebrows and lips twitching. His face was red, which surprised and wondered the doctor even more. “Then, why did you kiss me before we came here?”

Clay refused to speak, though his eyes remained at him. Seeing him scoffing and shaking his head prompted him to muster enough courage to say something, though talking about it was out of his comfort zone.

Valon took him in his arms and squeezed himself into him without letting him finish what he was doing. He couldn’t hold it when he pressed his face against Clay’s shoulders. He allowed himself to be vulnerable for the first time in his life.

Of all people, Clay never showed qualms about making efforts for comfort. He allowed him to be free, at least for a brief moment. He slowly began to realize the doctor’s value to him—beyond the need for artistic inspiration and his muse.

“You don’t know how disgusted I feel about myself right now,” he said with such anticipation as if he was expecting Clay to look at him as he did with Elizabeth.

“Why would you feel like that?” Clay asked while his arms wrapped around him.

“You’ve done many good things to help me feel good.”

“Haven’t you done the same to me?”

“But what did I do in return? Thinking ridiculous things about you doesn’t sound right to me,” Valon said, pulling away from him before he averted his gaze somewhere else to hide his embarrassment.

Clay couldn’t resist but became more curious about his confession. Was there something else he had missed? “Do you think I would feel disgusted?”

“Because it’s not right. I’m an artist, so I must keep everything professional. Look. I’m not supposed to feel this way. Besides, you’re engaged. You’re getting married to the woman you love. And I? Who am I to you?” Valon shook his head, pulling himself away as he teared up.

“It’s not what you think it is,” Clay replied as he grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to look at him, which surprised Valon.

“What do you mean?” Valon asked with his eyebrows knitted, seemingly confused.

Clay continued his gaze, gulping before he could say a word. “Because every time I feel your fingertips touching me, I can’t help but feel this weird feeling about you.” As Valon froze, Clay couldn’t hold it any longer, and he looked away to hide his flushing face. “The longer I stay close to you, the worse it has gotten me. I tried to stop. I thought I could. But I couldn’t. I’m struggling.”

“Isn’t that how a muse should feel for the Master he serves?”

“It isn’t about me as your muse or a friend. I mean,” Clay paused, “I’m scared, Val.”

“I know you’re scared because you might lose Liz.”

Clay shook his head. “No. I’m scared to allow myself to be consumed by this feeling toward you. Because if I do, I might lose control over myself.”

“Do you think I’ve got nothing to lose, too?”

“What will you lose, Val?”

If you fear you will lose Liz after this,” Valon paused as he began to walk in baby steps closer to him. “I fear I could lose you, Clay.”

While they briefly shared each other stares, Clay felt more ashamed than he was, feeling more terrible. The longer the silence was, the more uncomfortable he became. So, he looked away and froze when he felt Valon’s hand pulling him back.

“What should I say now? I could have prevented it from happening, which I didn’t want to do.” I knew this conversation would come one day. Believe me or not. I have already thought about this relationship beforehand.

“Then, tell me. Do you want me?” Valon asked. Though Clay was silent, he saw how he responded with his eyes. Whatever he saw upon him, as they continued exchanging gazes, he suddenly dared to go closer to him.

However, his eyes widened when Clay pulled him closer to reach his face and kiss his lips. His quick speed made his eyes widen in surprise, looking scared as shit. It took a few touches before he got used to the unfamiliar sensual feeling and closed his eyes as if allowing himself to enjoy it.

At that moment, Clay felt Valon’s tongue slipping inside his mouth and his hands cradling his face. He jolted in shock, and it didn’t take long before he gave in and allowed pleasure to take over his rational mind. Unable to resist the urge to comfort him, Clay wrapped his arms around Valon tighter than before. It was as if he didn’t want to let him go. Not anymore.

While they locked their lips, they both arched in pleasure until Clay leaned against the hard surface, which divided the rooms into sections. At that point, Valon pressed himself as his hands crawled around his body and felt Clay’s hands as they found themselves a paradise in his chest. With his eyes closed, he liked how it felt when Clay kissed his lips as he let out a bellow of ecstasy. Heaven. He knew what heaven was like and wanted to do it again.

When he briefly closed his eyes, he saw the same blurry image of Clay, sitting on an elevated platform with a spotlight on him, covered with thick layers of blue-green mixed with red paint dripping all over his naked body, from his face down to his toes. His hands were raised and tied up on the metal frame Valon had prepared. His mouth was gagged.

From afar, there was no sign of Clay or him being a respected doctor or being an Elizondo present at that moment but a hungry man who begged for his master’s mercy for gratification. His eyes were covered with the same crocheted scarf Valon wore that night, tied at the back of his head. As he arched his back, it pulled the chains that wrapped his hands, echoing across the room.

Moments later, Valon rose with a smirk, revealing his naked body, as his fingers caressed his skin while pouring the last drop of paint from the one-liter can on his hand above Clay’s mouth. His smile reached both ears as he saw Clay spreading his legs and looking up at the ceiling.

Although sex and a deep-seated wanting had kept his mind working as he had hoped, thinking he could keep his sadness and humiliation to himself, watching him unleashing the core of his being became more exciting, surprising, and fun.

Clay cursed, and his body shuddered when he felt Valon’s hand crawling from his shoulder to his chest and down to his lower abdomen. Then, when he felt a different material, his chest swelled while his mind kept guessing what it was. It was soft and felt like a pompom made of soft and thin leather straps.

“That’s right, Clay. You’re doing great. Fuck! I love it,” Valon announced excitedly as he took photos of every angle and nuance Clay made whenever the flogger touched his skin. When it reached down, caressing his crotch with it, his eyes were fiery, and his smiles were big.

Damn, he didn’t expect to see this side of this admirable man, only seen in a white gown and scrubs, an attractive man who only expected to be stoic. That was what everybody saw. But for him, something became clearer.

As somebody born and raised in a prominent family, Clay seemed innocent, naive, and pure from the surface. But deep within himself, he was something else. Man, he was a bitch, a whore, waiting for the right person who could discover his wild and dark sides and satisfy his hunger for flesh and thirst for lust.

Then, as Valon bent forward, he removed the fabric covering Clay’s mouth and eyes. While doing it, he was terrified of what he would say after this. Despite his fear, he continued until Clay was released. “Are you alright, Clay?” he asked with concern.

Clay nodded with his face down until he felt Valon unlocking the handcuffs. When he was released, he saw Valon bending down to his knees and felt his hand cradling his face. As he raised it to his eye view, his eyes twitched and became bloodshot, leaving Valon gulping while his eyes widened.

“Are you okay?” Valon asked.

Clay nodded and smiled.

Valon scoffed before he flashed a smile, shaking his head. He stood and walked to his makeshift workplace. Then, he returned with a towel and bent down to his knees again. Looking into his eyes, he reached to clean his face with the towel. Once finished, he flashed a quick smile. “Thank you for doing this for me, Clay,” he said.

“Kiss me,” Clay replied.

“Why?” Valon asked.

“I’m drained,” Clay said and closed his eyes, waiting for Valon to kiss his lips.

As Valon recalled the following scenes in his mind, he was shooting his younger sister his trademark mocking grin, which made her furious and even more aggressive than she already was. “Why are you smiling like that, Kuya?

Valon flinched and turned his head shortly after he had opened his eyes. “Nothing. How about you? How well are you these days?”

Agatha scoffed. “I thought you were only thinking about Clay all day and night. Why are you suddenly curious about me?”

“I know you like Elizabeth, and don’t tell me to shut up because I know you do like her.”

“What if I do? It’s none of your business,” she said.

“I thought you would rather want to stay away from this mess, so what went wrong that you fell into this?” Valon replied.

“Again, it’s none of your business.” Agatha scoffed and crossed her arms while arching an eyebrow when she looked at him. Putting up a stoic facade was all she could do. Even though putting up a good show before her father was easier, she knew she couldn’t hide anything from her brother. Despite her attempts to remain calm, she understood how her brother could read her better than anybody. So, pretending was of no use.

“When did you start hiding secrets from me, Agatha?”

“I’m not sure how to answer you, Kuya. I didn’t even know when it started,” she paused and sighed as she rolled her eyes and looked away. Because, in her mind, it was far more manageable to tell the truth without looking into his brother’s eyes.

“What will you do now when it’s there? Don’t you think it’s too late to turn your back?” Valon asked with concern.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what else I could say to you when you’re the one who started all of this shit.” Agatha shook her head in defeat, though she tried her best to avoid his gaze. Because she wouldn’t know how to react if he caught her staring at him. She wouldn’t like the idea of being helpless and desperate. No, it wasn’t her kind of thing. Unable to realize what she could express and tell him as much as she wanted to, she turned her back, sighing, as she headed towards the staircase.

“Where are you going?” Valon sharpened his voice, demanding her answers.

“It’s been a lot for me today. Thanks to you. I’m going to my room and rest,” Agatha replied lowly. It was as if a significant amount of energy was drawn out of her being, which ached Valon when he saw her looking like that.

In his mind, it wasn’t the usual Agatha he saw, even though he had seen her sad or looking depressed in the past. The longer he observed her nuances, the more he was aware of how serious she was and how grave the situation was for her. And it was crystal clear to him she didn’t like it.

However, he could understand why his sister acted as she did. From a distance, and even without asking her for further details as he used to, he could see how desperate and tied up she was, given how tight-knit Clay and Elizabeth were as a couple. He could even feel her pain, absorbing the negativity that oozed out of her.

When Agatha was gone, he turned his attention to the patio and opened the French doors, pushing them to the sides. Then, he walked toward the sea’s direction and flashed a smile as he closed his eyes. While the cold breeze caressed his body, his mind reeled the events that happened that early morning with a man he began to fond and love.


Author’s Note:

Thank you so much for spending time reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did when I wrote this part three months ago. This chapter, in particular, reminded me of those times when I sat before my desk, seemingly prepared to type in words, but I struggled to keep it up.

It took an external motivation to get it through, and, at that time, the NaNoWriMo event was upcoming. At that time, I thought, “This could be a great opportunity to try and give this a shot one more time. You’d done an excellent job with ‘The Rival,’ so you could do it, Mecyll.”

You know, it’s easier said than done because writing a chapter with a clear intent to finish it requires more than just a skill. Since I started writing fiction, I realized how much this work demands my ability to be naked and the guarantees to answer whether I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to face my fears, conscious or unconscious.

So, being able to write this down meant I managed despite the countless times dancing around with depression and enjoying the roller coaster rides my anxiety provided me.

This is why I don’t know how to thank you for your support, regardless of the scale or contribution size, from sharing my work with others or buying my books. It doesn’t matter because, for me, every small act you show is appreciated.

Again, thank you, and have a great day!

If you like to support my writing life, here’s what you can do:

  1. Get a copy of “The Rival” Uncensored Gay Romance Novel.
  2. Check out my upcoming book, “Non-Native Speakers Only.”
  3. Find more writing tips on my website (i.e., content writing, freelance writing, copywriting, self-publishing, novel writing, and many more!)

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