Chapter 35, Dr. Clay (Cult of Eros #1, Ongoing Update)

Dr. Clay Novel by M. Gaspary Featured Image - Free Chapters
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Here’s chapter 35 of the new book, Dr. Clay, I’ve been writing since NaNoWriMo 2022. Enjoy reading. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

Even though Agatha tried to remain as stoic as she looked, seemingly unaffected on the surface, deep inside, it wasn’t the case. Her chest thundered as her heart throbbed triple time. Her eyes twitched while her mouth was open, as if she was in shock, though she tried her best not to look like that. She didn’t expect to hear those words at that point, let alone from a woman like Elizabeth. It was the first time she realized how aggravated she was with Clay and Valon’s doing.

Then, the issue of being caught kissing her made her feel even worse. She understood and was aware of what she did to her, thinking she was taking advantage of her vulnerability.

No, she didn’t want that. She wanted Elizabeth’s true love, not sympathy or guilt, for having nothing to offer something back. And if she was doing all of these things for payback, it didn’t sound right to Agatha’s ears. Though she didn’t want to play what-ifs, she couldn’t stop asking why she did this bullshit in the first place.

So, she tried to dismiss her emotional needs for her. At least this time. Despite her burning desire, she couldn’t dare do something as outrageous as her brother did. She wanted Elizabeth as her, of course, as a woman, which Clay couldn’t do.

Confused and disturbed, she started walking while she tried to check on her filmed scenes on her GoPro and checked her phone for notifications as an excuse. When she raised her face and noticed the streaks of dark blue and black weaved across the darkening skies and the gush of swirling wind that touched her skin, she sighed and turned her head to check on Elizabeth, who began walking behind her. “We have to walk fast. Otherwise, we’ll get caught in the rain.”

“Nah, I don’t think it would rain,” Elizabeth replied, and shortly after, the heavy rains poured over them, leaving her in utter shock and beyond disbelief. “What the hell!” Shocked, she was still with her widened eyes and mouth open until Agatha grabbed her hand. “Wait, where are we going?”

“Fuck! Let’s go!” Agatha screamed and started pulling her, inviting her to run. So, they did. They kept running, searching for somewhere they could dry temporarily while they were a few meters away from the area where their car was. Desperate to find a place to stay for a few hours until the rain stopped, Agatha and Elizabeth found a hut nearby.

When they arrived, Agatha led the way and checked what was inside by wiping the dusty windows and peeping through them. Since it was raining and the skies were darker, she couldn’t see what was there. Despite her fears, she continued pushing the door, checking whether it was open.

Little did she know then, Elizabeth couldn’t help but stare at her hand wrapped around hers as she kept getting pulled toward her. When Agatha managed to open the door and look at her, she smiled as she watched her walking in first and beckoned her to come inside when she knew it was safe.

When she scanned the surroundings, her eyes wandered every nook and cranny in the hut, fearing the unseen. However, when she felt Agatha’s hand squeezing her, she flinched as she returned to her senses.

“Come in,” Agatha said.

“Is it safe? It looks scary,” Elizabeth answered with suspicion.

“We don’t have another choice. We have to stay here for a while until the rain slows down,” Agatha sputtered loud enough to be heard as the rain poured hard, and it was loud.


“Don’t worry, I’m here,” Agatha interrupted as soon as she saw her agitated. Even though Elizabeth refused to say something, which she usually does, how she looked at her was enough for her to flash a smile, thinking it would calm her. Then, she held her hand tighter and dragged her inside.

While they warmed themselves up in front of the burning wood in the dirty kitchen installed inside the hut, none spoke a word as they sat at the wooden structure beside the wooden table. Though the material looked aged, it was stable enough for them. So, they sat there until they felt comfortable and drier.

“Do you still remember when I asked why you’re being so nice to me?” Elizabeth paused, leaning forward toward the fire while hugging herself. When she looked into Agatha’s eyes, she saw how intense her gaze was, which made her wonder why she felt secure instead of the other way around. “I was thinking about that the whole time until now.”

“And?” Agatha asked, gulping while looking away and glancing as she was increasingly uncomfortable in her seat. She thought talking was easier when she moved her attention somewhere else. But when she felt she had mustered an ounce of bravery, she turned her head to look at her again, only to find herself frozen when she noticed the change in Elizabeth’s eyes. She saw curiosity with concern and felt a deep sense of wanting.

She wanted it and honestly relished this moment she thought was a childish dream. When she felt it was wrong to jump into the deep waters, assuming things, she laughed awkwardly as she looked away. “I told you so. You’re my OG fan. I like you as a person, for who you are,” she paused and looked at her again, “As Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth’s face flushed after hearing those words from her mouth. Wanting to hide how fluttered she was, she leaned back and pulled herself up to stand, walking towards the windows, peeping to check on the rain and the dark skies. As silence reigned in the hut, she turned her back in her direction and saw her shadow casting over her as she remained seated. But this time, she saw something in her eyes, leaving her at odds with wanting to explore the unknown world that awaited right before her.

“How do you like me?” Elizabeth asked, which startled the hell out of her.

That question signaled her to stand and walk closer. “What do you mean, how do I like you?”

“I sense you like me more than just a fan, Agatha.”

Agatha gulped and looked away, trying to hide how queasy and cornered she felt. She was in utter chaos, not knowing what to do and how to respond to Elizabeth’s inquiry. She didn’t expect to hear it, even though she had always dreamed of it. It was all in her mind, and she was okay with having fun imagining stupid things, the crazy and the wild. Besides, they were all in her head. She thought there was nothing wrong with doing it. But hearing it in real life, let alone from the exact person with whom she wanted to listen to those words, took her by surprise. She was suddenly caught in a daze.

Unable to find an excuse, she scoffed and returned to where she was. She sat on the wooden structure, a makeshift dining chair for a family, where she had sat earlier and crossed her legs and arms. “What are you talking about?” she said while chuckling away. As Elizabeth walked in her direction, her eyes widened as her chest swelled with anxiety. Though she looked unaffected on the surface, her whole body screamed. She wanted to run away and escape, and Elizabeth’s refusal to say a word made her feel even worse. It was a trap, she thought. “What’s wrong with you, Liz? Are you okay? I mean—What are you doing?”

“I was curious about what you meant when you said you wanted to be nice to me because Clay cannot,” Elizabeth asked while she bent forward and pressed her hands on Agatha’s face. Then, she shoved the strands of her long, dark, straight hair to the back of her ears.

“So? Was there something wrong with saying that when it’s true? I hate seeing you being treated like that. He’s your fiance. He should be there for you because he will become your husband. Look at what he’s doing instead.” Agatha clucked.

When Elizabeth saw her face clear up, revealing how attractive Agatha was, she flashed a sincere smile, biting her lip as she pulled away without letting go of their exchanged gazes. “I appreciate the concern and the help you’ve given me. For everything you’ve done for me. For trying to help me feel better. Agatha, I can’t thank you enough for being there when I needed it.”

Damn. That was it. That was the one she had been waiting for all this time.

Whatever consumed Agatha’s mind, she rose and reached Elizabeth’s hand, gently pulling her closer to her. As their gazes continued, her hand seemed to have a life on its own when she found herself cradling her face.

Yes! She longed to hear those words from her, and while briefly closing her eyes, the image of her on the bed, having a hard time, almost crying while talking on the phone, was vivid. The concerned voice and the look on her face, and the words that came out of her mouth addressed to Alain were painful to hear. Those moments were still crystal clear, and it was uncomfortable to relive, though she wasn’t part of anything in Elizabeth’s world.

Even though she was an influencer and had millions of followers on social media, she was a nobody to Elizabeth. She had a different world. She knew she had nothing to do with her until she did something that brought them to the place where they stood. It was she who brought her to the villa and the one who offered to help her out, which she rarely does. For the first time, she had done something so unusual that even her own father couldn’t believe she had done it. For the spoiled and sheltered child that she was, it was unbelievable. But deep inside, why was she doing it? Who was she for her? An OG fan? That’s all?

As she opened her eyes, she saw something in Elizabeth’s eyes as they crawled, tracing her skin and examining every minute detail that made up her face. She didn’t want to miss anything from her cheek down to her chin. While doing it, she thought if Clay couldn’t do his duty as a man and protect this beautiful woman, she will.

As soon as she stared into her eyes, it prompted her to deliver and answer the cryptic messages from the weight of her stares. She knew she was already past the point of no return. There was no way out of this any longer because the longer she continued feeling shit as great and risky as this, the more she became curious. The more she became interested, the more she wanted to see the deeper part of herself she wanted to fulfill and overcome. After all, she wanted her.

While her mind was in denial, she tilted her head and pulled her face closer, anticipating Elizabeth to pull back. She’d dreamed about what it would be like for too long. To leave her virginal state behind and know what it was to feel her.

When she was a breath away from touching her lips, her eyes widened when she felt her hands around her shoulders to the back of her neck, pulling her even more. A brief moment passed as Elizabeth answered her with a gaze before she felt how she tugged her and reached her face. When she saw her lips pressed against hers, she blinked momentarily, trying to spare more time to argue and rationalize what had happened. But she couldn’t. Something unfamiliar ignited inside her and defeated her consciousness as she continued, feeling and tasting her soft lips.

Deep inside, she wanted to believe this was all a dream. Kissing Elizabeth was a stupid infatuation she should have ignored, she thought. This couldn’t be true. However, as they swallowed each other’s lips, she struggled to find reasons to stop. Their hands went on cradling and caressing each other as if they were both hungry and thirsty to quench the lack of passion and romance they both wanted to fulfill.

Although Elizabeth was confused and wanted to stop before losing herself, she didn’t care if what they did was wrong or not for as long as it felt good to her. Because at this point, it felt right as their lips locked and their eyes shut. Besides, Clay wouldn’t do it even if she were to force him.

If Agatha could provide the same thing she needed from him, why wouldn’t she welcome it and enjoy the roller coaster ride? Though she was terrified as this was new, she was curious and wanted to explore. So, she thought, she needed this. Even if kissing her lips would cringe others, and even if this felt wrong, a mistake, her mind and body were too busy to think about those nonsense things for most people in her life. Because for her, it was clear anyway. She was having fun, and she missed feeling wanted. She wanted this, and she didn’t want to miss it.

After feeling satisfied with their mouths and tongues doing the foreplay, Agatha grabbed her and gently pushed her back until she lay on the table with her elbows pressed on the hard wooden surface. When she noticed how inviting Elizabeth was with her legs spread, draping them over the edge of the table, she didn’t have qualms, crawling on top of her and began caressing her face as she hovered above her. Though she had too much to say, she couldn’t say a word and gave her a lustful look before she kissed her lips again, and Elizabeth bellowed ecstasy.

Author’s Note:

Thank you so much for spending time reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did when I wrote this part three months ago. This chapter, in particular, reminded me of those times when I sat before my desk, seemingly prepared to type in words, but I struggled to keep it up.

It took an external motivation to get it through, and, at that time, the NaNoWriMo event was upcoming. At that time, I thought, “This could be a great opportunity to try and give this a shot one more time. You’d done an excellent job with ‘The Rival,’ so you could do it, Mecyll.”

You know, it’s easier said than done because writing a chapter with a clear intent to finish it requires more than just a skill. Since I started writing fiction, I realized how much this work demands my ability to be naked and the guarantees to answer whether I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually prepared to face my fears, conscious or unconscious.

So, being able to write this down meant I managed despite the countless times dancing around with depression and enjoying the roller coaster rides my anxiety provided me.

This is why I don’t know how to thank you for your support, regardless of the scale or contribution size, from sharing my work with others or buying my books. It doesn’t matter because, for me, every small act you show is appreciated.

Again, thank you, and have a great day!

If you like to support my writing life, here’s what you can do:

  1. Get a copy of “The Rival” Uncensored Gay Romance Novel.
  2. Check out my upcoming book, “Non-Native Speakers Only.”
  3. Find more writing tips on my website (i.e., content writing, freelance writing, copywriting, self-publishing, novel writing, and many more!)

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